Monday, November 29, 2010

Dreams of yesterday,realities of today.

It was dark , cold and rainy this evening when I started to bring the canoe down into the lake. I had a white rope from my brothers house that was all tangled. Hadn't thought about untangleing it before going down to the lake so I stood on the dock and slowly pulled the rope away from itself and got it untangled. By that time my fingers were cold and everything was wet. Even my back side wasn't all that surprised when I sat down on the cold wet metal seat of the canoe. It has been ten or more years since I once paddled that canoe across the lake to my parents home and yet in a way it seems like yesterday. The dreams of yesteryear as a girl at the camp next door, wanting to dress up in mocasons and wear the native american out fit. Somehow my dreams never included being in a canoe on a cold, dark, rainy night. But isn't that the reality of dreams. They always seem to leave the rough side out of the story. Roses are sure beautiful flowers but they do have thorns and those thorns can make you bleed, especially if you hold on to tightly. So perhaps there is a lesson in all this. Hold your dreams and your roses in an open hand. Then if they are taken or they dye they can be replace or just added to. The dream was always to make it accross the lake without sinking and once again it happened as I had hoped, but the dangers are always close at hand reminding you of how delicate your life and actions need to be.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Have you ever been miss judged?

I f your the one who did all the work, you could be thinking" that was a lot of work and for what" Oh not that it wasn't nice and not that everyone didn't come and have a great time, but when it was all said and done would you say a lot of turkeys got stuffed today. Or would you say it was more about the relationships that were fostered and spirits that were nurtured? That was my plan, but I guess I'll never really know if it was well invested. Well maybe twenty years from now someone will say:" something about that day changed my life. Who knows and then it will all be worth it".

I'm not around my neices and newphews much , but one of them said something about my wanting waltz back into their lives after 5 years and be their friend. That hurt. Yes, I want to be their friends but more importantly, I want to live a life that they will be proud to tell their friends about. A life that speaks volume about Jesus and his love for the lost, about Jesus and His power over sin. I had a guy tell me he wanted me to be his lover and sleep with him, not so long ago. Honestly it was tempting, but I couldn't help but think about my neices and nephews and how that could potentially affect their lives. I told the man that it was out of the question, I have to much to loose and nothing to gain by those actions. The greatest gift of love and friendship I can give to those dear children is to be true (even at 50 ) to my Jesus.
So what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Name some things in others lives that you are thankful for.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

In a land far far away.

I'm in the state of Washington sharing my life and heart with woman about woman. Funny how we all have the same desires for life and living. You know, simple things like a warm bed, food in our children's stomachs, a dry night's sleep, warmth in the cold season, and shade in the heat. They want to talk to their friends and enjoy their surroundings. There greatest fears are offending the dead, even more so than having a child die. The dead or far more dangerous than the living.

So here I am frozen out of my mom's house wondering when we could go back, will it be in time for thanksgiving with the family all coming. Will they be able to come? In our world those questions all seem quite important, but when I think of how people my village are doing right now with the land as dry as a hardened brick from months of the sun baking the earth. They have very little food to eat. Wondering if what little maise they have left will last until March when a new crop of maise will bear fruit. It's eazy to see how the walls of poverty choke out dreams and hope for tomorrow. I'm listening to a woman in the resturant moan and groan about how terrible her life is right now. She's having a ten dollar breakfast in a nice hotel, says she has a generator at her home which provides power to the microwave, stove and all the latest amenties of life, but life is really terrible to her, oh yes we are checking into the hotel tonight she says. Are you kidding me or are those in the west just kidding themselves. Most of the time I cann't justify or find justice in life. Hasn't God given us as people the power to choose how we will live our live and how those lives will or will not affect others. What have we done with this power. How will we account for that priviledge and power?